5 Tips About Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

What You Should Know About Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

Thinking about writing your own wedding day vows? You’re not alone, self-written vows are becoming more and more popular, with couples looking to create a personalised touch to their ceremony. If you’re not quite sure where to start, we’ve put together a little guide to help get you started…

Know the legalities of self-written vows

First things first, if you’re looking to have a civil ceremony, legally, your vows cannot include any references to religion. Civil ceremonies must also include the statutory declarations during the exchanging of vows which is the following: ““…Solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I, (name), may not be joined in matrimony to (name).” We’d always recommend that you speak to your registrar when writing your customized vows; they will be able to advise you of any potential problems before it gets too late. No one wants a last-minute panic.

Know the legalities of self-written vows

Take inspiration from your favourite examples

Before you hit pen to paper, it’s always a good idea to read as many different types of wedding vows as possible – from the very traditional to the highly personalised and perhaps even those from different faiths. The more variety the better – it will give you a general sense of what you like and don’t like so you can start considering the style that’s right for you.

Decide on a tone and stick to it

You’ll need to decide quite early on what kind of tone your wedding vows will take. Do you want something with a pinch of humour or will they be simple and romantic? You’ll also need to consider whether you’ll write them together or separately. If it’s the latter, will they be kept a secret until the Big Day?

Decide on a tone and stick to it

Think about your relationship milestones 

If you’ve been struck with writer’s block, take some time out to write about some of your best and most memorable moments together. Perhaps a special holiday or spontaneous road trip, maybe the first time you made each other laugh-til-it-hurt. If you’re still struggling, give each other a task of jotting down 10 things you love most about one another. It’s often those unedited, less-well-thought-out lines that sound best of all because they’re completely honest. When you do start writing try not to be too gushing or intimate, some things are best kept behind closed doors. You know what we mean…

Think about your relationship milestones

Do a practice run and time it

Of course your vows are important but no one wants to listen to you going on for 10 minutes, no matter how good they are. We’d suggest aiming for two minutes max and time yourself running through them. If they go over, start editing out the least important bits. At this stage it might be worth running them through with a friend who can give you another perspective on what to keep and cut. Don’t forget, you have a day of speeches and toasts so anything that doesn’t work in your vows might work better later in the day.

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5 Reasons to Engage in Premarital Counseling

Premarital Counseling

By Melissa Bertoch, Owner at Purposeful Living, Bluffdale, Utah

When couples begin wedding planning, premarital counseling is often one of the most overlooked, undervalued services. Oftentimes, couples tend to look at their relationship too idealistically and do not see the need for premarital counseling.

Additionally, couples tend to view premarital counseling as something that only religious couples need to engage in. Couples often spend countless hours preparing for the wedding and fail to give proper attention to preparing for the marriage.

Here are five reasons why premarital counseling can benefit you and your partner:

Increases awareness

Premarital counseling can give you increased awareness across many areas of your relationship. There may be areas you and your partner disagree on that you’ve never discussed.

Premarital counseling gives you the opportunity to become more aware of each other’s needs and opinions, while giving you a neutral party to help you navigate those areas.

Provides a safe place to talk about important things beforehand

There are some topics that are difficult to talk about with your partner. Sometimes couples avoid talking about specific topics because they are afraid to assert their needs. They may worry that their partner won’t understand, so they keep quiet.

This can lead to resentments later on that compound and become more difficult to resolve after many years. Premarital counseling gives you the opportunity to address these issues and find a compromise before they become a problem.

premarital counseling

Improves communication and conflict resolution

Most couples struggle with communication, which can often lead to increased conflict. Premarital counseling gives you the opportunity to learn how to communicate more effectively with your partner.

In turn, this not only helps you resolve conflict in a more productive manner, it often reduces the amount of conflict to begin with.

Enhances relationship skills

There are many essential relationship skills that can help contribute to a successful marriage, including communication and conflict resolution as discussed above.

Other relationship skills that can be gained include knowledge of your partner’s habits and personality, life skills, setting goals as a couple, and more.

Reduces your risk for divorce

Research conducted on the efficacy of the premarital counseling has shown that the risk for divorce can be reduced as much as 30%. There are studies that indicate that as much as 10-15% of couples choose not to get married after premarital counseling, which contributes to lower divorce rates.

That said, isn’t it worth it to determine if marrying your partner is right for you before you get married?

As you plan for your wedding, consider what benefits you can gain from premarital counseling. All couples can use help strengthening your relationship. Relationships change and evolve over time, so it is imperative to gain basic relationship skills to increase your ability to handle these changes.

Taking the time to invest in your marriage before the big day can have lasting benefits that will lead to a happy marriage.

Visit www.purposefullivingllc.com or call 435-776-5799 today.

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